Southern Nightmare
by Matsuchiiify
Summary: Oh you guys I never posted this? Pff. Mississippi's nightmare is ridiculous and hilarious. Let's say he didn't expect to be in such a relationship...


Nightmares or night terrors, they happen to everyone; some more severe than others. Now, what would be a nightmare to someone like Mississippi? Something somewhat like this….

"Hmm?" Mississippi muttered as he opened his eyes, "What! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!" Mississippi found himself in a predicament, why Texas was trying to take off his shirt was unknown at the time being.

"What does it look like dumbass?" Texas replied still trying to take his shirt off.

"Wha-? WHY!" Mississippi found himself yelling. He tried to squirm around.

"Dude. Chill the fuck out, what's yer problem?" Texas said staring at Mississippi in confusion.

"WHAT'S MY PROBLEM? MORE LIKE WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?" Mississippi was not only confused but pissed at the same time.

"What? Calm down, chill. Ya act like this ain't normal fer a married couple." Texas replied, with a straight face.

"A WHAT! HOLD ON THERE. WHAT? WE ARE NOT. I REPEAT. NOT. MARRIED." Mississippi responded in a stern voice.

"What the hell are ya talkin' 'bout? Course we are, see?" Texas replied holding up his hand to show the ring he had on his ring finger. "Yer ma wife, did ya hit yer head on tha way out?"

"DID YOU HIT YOUR HEAD ON THE WAY OUT? DID YOU EVER HAVE A WORKING BRAIN? HOW THE HELL DI- I SWEAR TO GOD IF IT'S BECAUSE OF ALCOHOL I WILL KILL SOMEONE." Mississippi obviously didn't care about the tone of his voice, or how loud it was.

"Ya know, that hurts. Why can't ya be nice ta me? All Ah ever do ta ya is insult ya a couple of times. It ain't that bad." Texas responded, genuinely hurt.

"Texas, I d- Where's Alabama!" Mississippi asked after it occurred to him that if he's with Texas what happened to Alabama.

"Why the fuck do ya care about her? She ain't that nice. Ah'd rather her die in a pit of fire." Texas responded bluntly.

"WHAT? WHY? What'd she ever do to you?" Mississippi was so confused, "Better yet, why the fuck aren't you with Louise!"

"Are ya a dumbass? Ya know very well that Alabama and Louise done near killed themselves fightin' over Arkansas."

"WHAT THE FUCK! WHY? WHY ARKANSAS!" Mississippi was sitting upright facing Texas now.

"I'unno. They like 'im fer some reason. Why?"

"WHY THE HELL AM I MARRIED TO YOU!" Mississippi found himself getting back on that topic.

"…What do ya mean?" Texas seemed like he was being a nice, honest man.

"…..YOU'RE BEING GAY!" Mississippi blurted out.

"WE ARE GAY!" Texas yelled back.

"NO WE'RE NOT!"

"YES WE ARE!"

"WHY AM I EVEN ARGUING WITH YOU? HOW THE HELL COULD YOU BE GAY? YOU'RE LIKE THE STRAIGHTEST GUY EVER. HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DECIDE YOU'RE MARRIED TO ME!" Mississippi continued yelling.

"WHEN DID YOU DECIDE YOU'RE STRAIGHT?"

"I'VE ALWAYS BEEN STRAIGHT. STRAIGHT AS A GOD DAMN PIECE OF STEEL THAT DOESN'T BEND. AND NO, I WILL NOT BEND FOR YOU!"

"….Mississippi, you're an asshole. Ya know that?"

"…..You're being a fucktard."

"Yer still ma wife."

"Let me get this through your thick skull," Mississippi began, "In fact, let me put this in your terms. Ah ain't married ta ya, and Ah ain't 'bout ta be married ta ya. Ah ain't gay and Ah ain't 'bout ta be gay. Dumbass."

"Fuck you." Texas got up and stomped out of the room, "Ta think Ah cared 'bout ya."

Mississippi gasped and sprung up from his bed, causing him to fall off. CRASH! "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" Mississippi felt his head and groaned, "Damn it, why does my head hurt so much? And what the hell was with that dream! I'M STRAIGHT. STRAIGHT DAMN IT."

"Having ta reassure yerself?" Texas asked as he laughed from the doorway.

"AH!" Mississippi screamed and jumped to his feet, "W-Why are you here!"

"Louise told me ta check on ya, what kind of dumbass falls out of a tree and then falls out of their bed?"

"….Oh, so….Um… Tell me this much, is Arkansas single?"

"PFF. NO DUH DUMBASS. OF COURSE HE'S SINGLE. AH AIN'T SEE ONE GIRL JUMPIN' ON 'IM. WHAT'S YER PROBLEM!"

"N-Nothing… Just got an idea. Nothing more."

"Whatever, so about that tree….."


End file.
